Tag: mindfulness

  • Soaking up the summer

    Soaking up the summer

    The longer days have arrived, and so has the chaos that comes with them. The sweaty, sticky, sun-creamy children running wild, fuelled by ice lollies and picky bits. The discarded clothes, the wet towels from yet another water fight. Nobody is sleeping well, the house is a mess, nobody knows what they want to eat, and you’re forever chasing the children around with the factor 50 and a water bottle.

    The moment you sit down, you have to go and lifeguard your makeshift water park in the garden that’s filled with bugs, grass, stones, petals—you name it. Then, just when you think everyone is finally settled, they all want to go back inside because they’re too hot.

    It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the madness and become frustrated. But if you actually stop for a moment, pause, breathe, and watch, you’ll see something magical. Their childhood. It’s unfolding right before your eyes, and although it’s hard to see sometimes, it’s there.

    Being a 90’s baby there’s something so nostalgic in going back to basics and letting it all just be. No frills, no fuss, just raw childhood. Being in it with them is something I know I won’t regret.

    The sticky little fingers. The pitter-patter of wet feet running to the freezer for another ice lolly. The wonder in their eyes as you simply put the slide into the paddling pool and create their very own water slide. Their need to be close to you, even when it’s hot. Their skin against yours while they doze in the afternoon sun. The squeals of happiness as the hosepipe makes its first splutter of the day. The late nights spent laughing and running around because the sun’s still up and they don’t want to sleep.

    Those extra hours are the golden ones. Make them count. Be present with them, play with them, let them be children.

    I wrote a poem earlier this week.

    Soaking up the summer

    The longer days,
    the warm air,
    the sun-creamy cuddles,
    the sticky little ice lolly fingers,
    and the last summer that your children will be this little.

    The paddling pool puddles,
    the grass trodden through the house,
    the sprawl of discarded clothes
    in the too-hot weather.

    The mess won’t be forever.

    The sun-kissed noses,
    the hosepipe squeals,
    the picnic lunches
    and late evening meals.

    The trips to the beach
    where things are forgotten,
    but the days are not.
    Those will be remembered.

    Memories that last.
    The laughter,
    the sunsets.

    Soaking up the summer,
    It will never be quite this good.
    Take in their smiling faces.
    This is their childhood.

    Ask yourself: will you embrace it, or fight it?

    Life is short. Soon you’ll be longing for these summer days. You’ll miss the chaos and the noise, and you’ll wish you could go back to a time when you were all together.

    So even when it’s hot, allow the cuddles. Allow the late nights. Adapt to a new routine. It will be brief, but so worth it.

  • Massage – Luxury or Essential?

    Massage – Luxury or Essential?

    Parenting can be incredibly taxing on your body. The lifting, carrying, chasing after little ones, sleepless nights and everything in between can leave you feeling exhausted, achy, and burned out.

    So why is it that, more often than not, I see parents suffering in silence? Powering through endless tasks, putting everyone else’s needs first, and leaving little to no room for self-care or time to truly look after themselves.

    I’ve spoken before about the importance of self-care—not just for parents, but for every human being on this planet. We need to start seeing self-care as less of a luxury and more of an essential part of maintaining our physical and mental wellbeing.

    Of course, I’m very aware that not every household has the spare money to book a spa day or treat themselves to regular massages. That’s why I wanted to share some ideas that can benefit us all, whatever our budget.

    Massage

    I’ve previously written about yoga, sauna sessions, mindfulness, and the importance of moving your body to support a healthier lifestyle as a parent. This time, I want to talk about massage.

    I often find myself daydreaming about a relaxing full-body massage that sends me drifting into a peaceful, half-asleep state of complete relaxation. It’s certainly not something I do regularly, but when the budget allows, my partner and I make the most of it. As parents, opportunities to completely switch off can be few and far between, which makes those moments of rest feel even more valuable.

    The Benefits of Massage

    Massage therapy offers a wide range of benefits for both physical and emotional wellbeing. Research suggests that massage can:

    – Reduce muscle tension and soreness.
    – Improve circulation and blood flow.
    – Promote relaxation and reduce stress levels.
    – Improve sleep quality.
    – Support recovery after physical activity.
    – Help reduce feelings of anxiety and improve overall wellbeing.

    For parents who spend their days carrying children, bending, lifting, and constantly being “on”, massage can provide a much-needed opportunity to slow down, release tension, and reset.

    I recently enjoyed a reflexology session with Anna at Coastal Massage. She made me feel completely comfortable and helped me truly relax from the moment I arrived. She gave me the option to wear an eye mask which really helped me to keep my eyes closed and sink further into a state of calm along with letting me chose the scent of my oil so that the experience was personal to my own needs. My partner also enjoyed a full-body massage, and by taking turns with childcare, we were both able to enjoy some uninterrupted time to rest, recharge, and focus on our own wellbeing.

    Massage at Home

    If a professional massage isn’t something you can justify right now, that’s absolutely OK. There are several simple massage techniques you can practise at home, either on your own or with a loved one, that may help relieve tension and encourage relaxation.

    As always, if you’re pregnant, have high blood pressure, a medical condition, or an injury, please seek professional advice or speak to your doctor before trying massage techniques.

    1. Neck and Shoulder Release
    Using your fingertips or thumbs, gently knead the muscles between your neck and shoulders using small circular movements. Focus on any areas that feel particularly tight and spend a few minutes working through them while taking slow, deep breaths.

    2. Foot Massage with a Ball
    Place a tennis ball or massage ball under your foot and gently roll it backwards and forwards. This can help release tension in the soles of the feet, especially after long days spent standing, walking, or carrying children.

    3. Hand Massage
    Apply a small amount of moisturiser or oil and use your thumb to massage the palm of your opposite hand using circular motions. Pay particular attention to the base of the thumb and each finger joint. This can be especially beneficial for parents who spend lots of time lifting, carrying, and pushing prams.

    Local Recommendations

    If you’re local to the Southampton area, I’d highly recommend booking a massage with Layla at New Energy Yoga and Pilates Studio. Their tranquil treatment room creates a peaceful environment, and Layla is known for creating a wonderfully relaxing experience for her clients. Layla says “Massage is often overseen as a luxury when really in its roots it is a vital way of bonding through platonic touch between family members and friends. Not only stimulating blood and lymph flow around the body but signalling to the nervous system that touch is safe and that you are allowed to relax.  I honestly believe we should receive gentle massage as often as possible as it helps melt away the stresses of the day as well as stimulating the vagus nerve which releases important happy hormones such as oxytocin”.

    Victoria also offers Ayurvedic massage at the same studio, she says “Parents spend so much of their time caring for everyone else that they often forget to take a moment for themselves. Ayurvedic Yoga Massage offers a space to simply slow down, breathe and be looked after. The combination of deep tissue massage, gentle assisted stretches and mindful breathwork can help ease the aches and tension that come from lifting, carrying and constantly being on the go, while also calming a busy mind. Many people leave feeling lighter, more relaxed and reconnected to themselves – something every parent deserves.”

    If you’re local to the Hythe and Waterside area, I’d highly recommend Anna at Coastal Massage. Her treatment space is incredibly peaceful, and you immediately feel at ease from the moment you walk through the door. Anna says, “It’s so beautiful to see parents taking the time for themselves and leaving the treatment room feeling like everything is more manageable. Stepping out of fight-or-flight mode and slowing down feels like a reset when the parenting world moves so quickly.”

    Some beautiful words from some beautiful souls there! (use the hyperlinks above for more information)

    So what now?

    As parents, we often place ourselves at the very bottom of the priority list. While caring for our children is important, caring for ourselves matters too. Whether that’s booking a professional massage, asking your partner for a five-minute shoulder rub, or simply rolling a tennis ball under your feet at the end of a long day, small acts of self-care can have a big impact.

    Massage doesn’t have to be an expensive luxury. Sometimes, it’s simply an essential reminder that your wellbeing matters too. Even small moments dedicated to rest and recovery can leave you feeling calmer, more energised, and better equipped for the demands of family life.



    References
    Field, T. (2016). Massage therapy research review. Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice, 24, 19–31.
    National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH). Massage Therapy: What You Need To Know.
    American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA). Benefits of Massage Therapy.
    Mayo Clinic. Stress management and relaxation techniques.
    NHS. Exercise, relaxation and wellbeing guidance.

  • Fascia & Burnout: Simple Resets

    Fascia & Burnout: Simple Resets

    We’ve all been there—running on empty after weeks (or months) of constantly being on the go. The mental load, the physical exhaustion, the never-ending to-do list. I’m feeling it now too—that quiet but persistent sense that burnout is just around the corner.


    When life gets busy, “making time for yourself” often feels unrealistic. And I’m not talking about squeezing in a gym session, ticking off appointments, or powering through the weekly food shop. I’m talking about something far more essential.
    I’m talking about giving yourself space to pause.


    Moments to reset your nervous system.


    Moments to let your mind soften.


    Moments to allow your body to fully relax and regenerate.


    This doesn’t require spa days or extra hours of sleep (though those are always a bonus when they happen). It’s about small, intentional practices—deep breathing, stillness, gentle awareness—that help your body come out of survival mode and return to balance.

    The Fascia


    Let’s talk about something we don’t often think about: fascia.
    What’s that, you ask?

    Fascia is a continuous web of connective tissue that runs throughout your entire body. It’s quite incredible—it wraps around your muscles, organs, bones, and nerves, holding everything in place while also allowing movement and flexibility.

    Think of it as both your body’s support system and its communication network. When you’re stressed, physically or emotionally—your fascia can tighten and become restricted. This can lead to stiffness, discomfort, fatigue, and that heavy, “worn down” feeling so many of us carry without even realising it. Many people can relate to this, and as a parent, exhaustion is certainly not a foreign concept.

    Fascia is also closely linked to your nervous system. When you’re stuck in a constant state of stress (fight or flight), your fascia reflects that tension. It becomes less elastic, less hydrated, and less able to support easeful movement and recovery.


    The good news? Fascia responds beautifully to slow, mindful practices. Gentle movement, deep breathing, and moments of stillness can help rehydrate and release this tissue, sending signals of safety back to your nervous system.

    In short—when you look after your fascia, you’re supporting your entire body to feel calmer, lighter, and more resilient.


    3 Steps to Reset


    When everything feels overwhelming, keep it simple. Resetting doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. It’s something you can even practise with your children.


    1. Breathe with intention
    Take 2–3 minutes to slow your breath right down. Inhale through your nose for a count of four, then exhale slowly for a count of six. That longer exhale tells your nervous system that you’re safe, helping you shift out of stress mode.


    2. Create a moment of stillness
    This could be sitting quietly with a cup of tea, stepping outside for fresh air, or simply closing your eyes for a minute in the middle of the chaos. No phone, no distractions—just a pause.


    3. Gently move your body
    Slow stretches, rolling your shoulders, or even lying on the floor for a minute can help release tension held in the body. Think softness, not intensity.

    A Note on Somatic Movement


    One of the most supportive practices I’ve brought into my own routine is somatic movement—slow, intentional movement that helps you reconnect with your body and release stored tension.


    Each morning, while the coffee machine does its thing, I move. It doesn’t need to be complicated. I start with 100 jumps to wake up my body, followed by a few simple, intuitive movements and stretches. Nothing structured, nothing forced—just tuning in to what my body needs.


    It’s become a small but powerful reset. A way to shake off tension, support my fascia, and signal to my nervous system that I’m safe and grounded before the day begins.


    I’ll write a separate blog post diving deeper into somatic movement because, truly, it’s changed so much for me day to day and improved my overall wellbeing.

    How to Make Time Each Day to Prevent Burnout


    This is often the hardest part—finding the time when it already feels like there isn’t any. The key is to stop thinking of this as “extra” time. Instead, weave it into what you’re already doing:
    Take a few deep breaths before getting out of bed, pause for a moment of stillness while the kettle boils. Move your body while you make the kids breakfast. Dance your way out of the door on the school run. Step outside for fresh air, even if it’s just for a minute. It’s not about carving out big chunks of time. It’s about creating small pockets of awareness throughout your day. And just as importantly—give yourself permission.


    Permission to pause.


    Permission to not be productive for a moment.


    Permission to look after yourself in a way that truly supports your nervous system.


    Because when you take even a few minutes to reset, you’re not taking away from your family—you’re showing up for them in a more grounded, present, and energised way.


    Burnout doesn’t happen overnight—and neither does recovery. But these small, consistent moments of care? They add up! And they matter more than you think.

  • Becoming, Again and Again

    Becoming, Again and Again

    Life has been full lately—not the overwhelming kind that pulls you under, but the kind that reshapes you if you let it. I’ve been creating my own version of balance—something that fits around my family, rather than forcing us to fit around it. Part of that has been finding work that no longer competes with my life, but weaves into it—something that supports it, enhances it, and aligns with who I am becoming.

    Alongside that, I’ve carved out space for the quieter things—writing, reading, moving through yoga, and long-distance runs where my mind can wander, stretch, and gently settle. Amid it all, I pause… just to breathe, to notice, to appreciate how, quietly and steadily, things are beginning to fall into place.
    Time has introduced me to many versions of myself. Some I barely recognise now; others still feel close enough to touch. But I’ve learned to welcome each one with open arms. I’ve embraced the passions, the pace, and the particularities of every woman I’ve been. And now, as I shift into a new phase, I carry a deep gratitude for all those past selves—for guiding me here, to this exact moment that feels, in its own quiet way, like a turning point.


    Motherhood has softened me. It’s made me more mindful, more intentional. My children have a way of slowing everything down, of asking without words: What do you really want your world to look like? And when I listen, the answer feels simple. A world filled with kindness. With love. With nature. A world where stillness has a place, even in the whirlwind.


    Of course, motherhood isn’t always gentle. It’s movement, it’s noise, it’s unpredictability. But I’m learning to let connection guide me through the harder moments—to meet them with presence rather than resistance. To find small pockets of quiet amid the rush, instead of waiting for everything to settle before I can feel at ease.


    There’s something else shifting too. Meeting new people, stepping into unfamiliar situations—and stepping more fully into work that feels like an extension of my life rather than a separate part of it—I’ve begun doing it all with a more open mind. It’s brought a kind of lightness back into me. A quiet confidence. A youthful spark. The smallest changes, those seemingly insignificant steps, are beginning to gather momentum. And I can feel it—that those small shifts are becoming something bigger.


    The harder days still come, of course. But I meet them differently now. With softness. With patience. I’m learning to be kinder to myself in ways I never quite managed before. Not perfect—just gentler.


    The subtle shifts in my life have been pulling me to step away from social media, to create a little distance from the constant pull of devices. And yet, I return, sharing my life in small moments. It sits uneasily at times—I question it, I wonder if it’s too much. But deep down, I know it’s also my way of recording this journey. A way to one day look back and see this life laid out in moments. A timeline of growth. Of change. Of becoming.


    And maybe that’s something I can share with my children. Not a perfect story, but a real one. One that shows them all the different versions of me, so they know it’s okay to evolve. To experiment. To try on different lives until they find the one that feels like home.
    Because maybe that’s what this is all about—not arriving, but becoming. Again and again.

  • Present, Not Perfect: A Mindful Approach to Parenthood

    Present, Not Perfect: A Mindful Approach to Parenthood

    Mindfulness — it’s a word that’s become pretty trendy lately, right?

    It seems like there’s a bit of a stigma around calling yourself a mindful person these days. As if saying you’re a mindful mother (or parent) means people expect you to bake only organic goods, wear dungarees, have an allotment (I actually did have one once, and I definitely own a pair of dungarees, but still! 🤣), and never drop the F-bomb or enjoy a few too many glasses of wine.

    I’m here to tell you — that’s a load of rubbish and quite frankly, unrealistic.

    So, What Is Mindfulness, Really?

    Photo credit – Google

    At its core, mindfulness is simply about being aware — noticing what’s happening inside and around you without judgment. And that’s something anyone can do with practice.

    The kids have dropped food all over the floor, everyone’s screaming and overstimulated? Take a deep breath and remind yourself: we’re all just tiny humans living on a floating rock in space. That’s mindfulness.

    Chasing your kids through the forest, covered in mud, trying to stop your youngest from eating rocks — then taking a moment to stop, look around, breathe in the fresh air, and feel grateful for the beauty around you. That’s mindfulness.

    Taking time out for yourself — whether it’s yoga, the gym, a walk in nature, dinner with friends, or even a Netflix binge in your pajamas with snacks — and allowing yourself to reconnect and unwind. That’s mindfulness too.

    How to Practice Mindfulness

    There are so many ways to bring mindfulness into your day, but it often starts with something as simple as pausing in a moment of overwhelm.

    Take a breath.

    Meet whatever’s happening with steadiness and kindness.

    Doing this regularly helps rewire your brain, creating new neural pathways that make it easier to stay grounded and aware of your emotions.

    Whatever you’re feeling — anger, sadness, joy, gratitude — let yourself feel it. All of it. Feeling is what makes us human.

    Nobody’s Perfect

    And let’s be real — nobody gets it right all the time. I certainly don’t! My mindfulness practice escapes me sometimes. I get angry. I shout. I cry. Sometimes I go inward and struggle to express myself.

    But those moments are exactly when I realise I need a time out — a mindful pause — a break from my thoughts. I take a step back, breathe, reevaluate, and try to meet whatever I’m feeling with patience and understanding.

    A Final Thought

    If the idea of mindfulness feels a bit unrealistic or even frustrating, that’s okay. It can sound like one more thing to add to an already overflowing plate — especially as a parent.

    But mindfulness isn’t about perfection or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about giving yourself a little space to breathe, reflect, and approach your day with a clearer mind and softer heart.

    So next time things feel chaotic, take a mindful moment for yourself.

    Pause.

    Breathe.

    And remember — you don’t need to be perfect to be present. 🙏✨️