I’ve been quiet lately.
Not intentionally, might I add.
Sometimes life just gets a lot.
The summer was BUSY. And, for me, living in the moment and enjoying that time with my partner and children became essential. Life’s twists and turns have had us crying with happiness and joy (we got engaged in August!) but we have also experienced moments of sadness which have made me retreat a little.
Sometimes sharing my motherhood journey can feel overwhelming too. What do I share? All of it? Some of it? Which parts of what I do might help someone else, and which parts are just… completely irrelevant?
I started sharing my Mama’s life adventures with the hope of showing the things that help me stay grounded and sane as a mid-thirties mum. The yoga. The sauna. The outdoor adventures. My obsession with trees and mushrooms and flowers. The little things that bring me back to myself. My idea of wellness.
But there’s another reality that we’re all living too.
The norm.
You can’t always glamourise the semi-warm morning coffee, the piles of washing, the endless to-do lists and the ridiculous number of things somehow scribbled into the calendar.
Some days, it’s hard to keep up.
And although I have my own ways of coping, some days, when it all gets a bit too much, I cry.
I shout.
I let it out.
I rot on the sofa.
I ignore my friends and family.
I go ghost.
And do you know what?
THAT’S OK.
Sometimes we need to power down. Log off. Step away from the noise. Stop answering messages. Stop trying to keep up with everyone else. And just… reset.
Then, when we’re ready, we go again.
The outdoors will always be there. The trees will always listen when you’re ready to talk. Your body will remember how to move when you’re ready to move it again.
Wellness doesn’t fix everything.
And I think that’s something we need to talk about more.
Wellness isn’t about having the perfect morning routine, drinking green juice and doing yoga at sunrise while feeling completely at peace with the world. Wellness is what happens when we listen to our bodies and give ourselves what we actually need.
Some days, that’s a full body stretch and a hot bath.
Some days, it’s a giant bowl of pasta, cheesecake and a Netflix binge.
Some days, it’s going for a walk and breathing in some fresh air.
Some days, it’s turning on your do not disturb and loving it.
Some days, it’s lying on the sofa and doing absolutely nothing.
And some days, it’s looking around at your messy house, your children, your partner, your life — and feeling incredibly grateful for all of it.
Some days, you just need to get in your car and angry scream at the top of your lungs. (IYKYK)
There isn’t one right way to look after yourself.
And there certainly isn’t one version of motherhood that we’re all supposed to fit into.
I suppose what I’m really trying to say is this:
You never really know what’s going on behind closed doors.
Some people struggle sometimes.
Some people struggle a lot.
Some people seem to have it all together but are quietly hanging on by a thread.
Some people need to be left alone.
Some people need a hug.
Some people need someone to sit beside them without asking questions.
And sometimes, we don’t even know what we need ourselves.
I think the trick is learning to recognise when you’re running on empty and giving yourself permission to step back. And, where you can, communicating that with the people who love you.
“I’m not ignoring you. I just need some time.”
“I’m struggling a bit and I need some space.”
“I don’t know what I need right now, but I’ll be OK.”
Those little conversations can make such a difference.
Because sometimes you don’t need fixing.
You just need time.
Time to breathe.
Time to cry.
Time to be quiet.
Time to remember who you are underneath the never-ending list of things that need doing. Until, eventually you come back to yourself.
And now I’m back…
I’m here. I’m ready. And I’m so excited to share another special retreat with my fellow mamas.
An afternoon of coming back to yourself.
And, if I’m honest, it’s something I need too.
Time to reconnect with my body. To slow down. To relax. To breathe. To be held in a safe space where, for a little while, I don’t have to be anything for anyone else.
I want to create that feeling for other mums too.
A space where you feel held, seen and understood.
Where you can take a breath and remember that underneath the school runs, the washing, the packed lunches, the endless lists and everyone else’s needs, you’re still in there too.
The heat of the sauna, paired with yoga and self-massage, creates the most beautiful opportunity to slow down and let some of those everyday worries soften.
To breathe a little deeper.
To release a little tension.
To reconnect with your body.
To simply be.
Because sometimes we don’t need another thing to achieve.
We just need somewhere safe to land.
And perhaps that’s what this next chapter is about for me too.
I disappeared for a little while.
I needed to.
And now I’m ready to come back — slowly, intentionally, and with a whole lot more understanding of what it means to look after myself while being a mum.
So, mamas, whatever you’re going through right now, keep going.
Listen to what your body needs.
Be kind to yourself.
And don’t let the opinions or expectations of other people force you out of your little hole before you’re ready to face the world again.
It’s OK to hibernate sometimes.
It’s OK to drop off the face of the earth for a little while.
It’s OK to go quiet.
Just try to check in with at least one person who loves you, so they know you’re safe and don’t think the worst.
And when you’re ready?
Come back.
There’s no shame in taking a break.
You’re allowed to disappear for a little while.
You’re still a good mum.
You’re still you.
And tomorrow is another day.
Disclaimer: If you’re struggling with your mental health, feeling unable to cope, or your feelings are becoming difficult to manage, please don’t feel that you have to deal with it alone. Reach out to your GP, a qualified mental-health professional, or an appropriate support service. Taking some time for yourself can be healthy, but professional support is important when you’re struggling.
