Massage – Luxury or Essential?

Parenting can be incredibly taxing on your body. The lifting, carrying, chasing after little ones, sleepless nights and everything in between can leave you feeling exhausted, achy, and burned out.

So why is it that, more often than not, I see parents suffering in silence? Powering through endless tasks, putting everyone else’s needs first, and leaving little to no room for self-care or time to truly look after themselves.

I’ve spoken before about the importance of self-care—not just for parents, but for every human being on this planet. We need to start seeing self-care as less of a luxury and more of an essential part of maintaining our physical and mental wellbeing.

Of course, I’m very aware that not every household has the spare money to book a spa day or treat themselves to regular massages. That’s why I wanted to share some ideas that can benefit us all, whatever our budget.

Massage

I’ve previously written about yoga, sauna sessions, mindfulness, and the importance of moving your body to support a healthier lifestyle as a parent. This time, I want to talk about massage.

I often find myself daydreaming about a relaxing full-body massage that sends me drifting into a peaceful, half-asleep state of complete relaxation. It’s certainly not something I do regularly, but when the budget allows, my partner and I make the most of it. As parents, opportunities to completely switch off can be few and far between, which makes those moments of rest feel even more valuable.

The Benefits of Massage

Massage therapy offers a wide range of benefits for both physical and emotional wellbeing. Research suggests that massage can:

– Reduce muscle tension and soreness.
– Improve circulation and blood flow.
– Promote relaxation and reduce stress levels.
– Improve sleep quality.
– Support recovery after physical activity.
– Help reduce feelings of anxiety and improve overall wellbeing.

For parents who spend their days carrying children, bending, lifting, and constantly being “on”, massage can provide a much-needed opportunity to slow down, release tension, and reset.

I recently enjoyed a reflexology session with Anna at Coastal Massage. She made me feel completely comfortable and helped me truly relax from the moment I arrived. She gave me the option to wear an eye mask which really helped me to keep my eyes closed and sink further into a state of calm along with letting me chose the scent of my oil so that the experience was personal to my own needs. My partner also enjoyed a full-body massage, and by taking turns with childcare, we were both able to enjoy some uninterrupted time to rest, recharge, and focus on our own wellbeing.

Massage at Home

If a professional massage isn’t something you can justify right now, that’s absolutely OK. There are several simple massage techniques you can practise at home, either on your own or with a loved one, that may help relieve tension and encourage relaxation.

As always, if you’re pregnant, have high blood pressure, a medical condition, or an injury, please seek professional advice or speak to your doctor before trying massage techniques.

1. Neck and Shoulder Release
Using your fingertips or thumbs, gently knead the muscles between your neck and shoulders using small circular movements. Focus on any areas that feel particularly tight and spend a few minutes working through them while taking slow, deep breaths.

2. Foot Massage with a Ball
Place a tennis ball or massage ball under your foot and gently roll it backwards and forwards. This can help release tension in the soles of the feet, especially after long days spent standing, walking, or carrying children.

3. Hand Massage
Apply a small amount of moisturiser or oil and use your thumb to massage the palm of your opposite hand using circular motions. Pay particular attention to the base of the thumb and each finger joint. This can be especially beneficial for parents who spend lots of time lifting, carrying, and pushing prams.

Local Recommendations

If you’re local to the Southampton area, I’d highly recommend booking a massage with Layla at New Energy Yoga and Pilates Studio. Their tranquil treatment room creates a peaceful environment, and Layla is known for creating a wonderfully relaxing experience for her clients. Layla says “Massage is often overseen as a luxury when really in its roots it is a vital way of bonding through platonic touch between family members and friends. Not only stimulating blood and lymph flow around the body but signalling to the nervous system that touch is safe and that you are allowed to relax.  I honestly believe we should receive gentle massage as often as possible as it helps melt away the stresses of the day as well as stimulating the vagus nerve which releases important happy hormones such as oxytocin”.

Victoria also offers Ayurvedic massage at the same studio, she says “Parents spend so much of their time caring for everyone else that they often forget to take a moment for themselves. Ayurvedic Yoga Massage offers a space to simply slow down, breathe and be looked after. The combination of deep tissue massage, gentle assisted stretches and mindful breathwork can help ease the aches and tension that come from lifting, carrying and constantly being on the go, while also calming a busy mind. Many people leave feeling lighter, more relaxed and reconnected to themselves – something every parent deserves.”

If you’re local to the Hythe and Waterside area, I’d highly recommend Anna at Coastal Massage. Her treatment space is incredibly peaceful, and you immediately feel at ease from the moment you walk through the door. Anna says, “It’s so beautiful to see parents taking the time for themselves and leaving the treatment room feeling like everything is more manageable. Stepping out of fight-or-flight mode and slowing down feels like a reset when the parenting world moves so quickly.”

Some beautiful words from some beautiful souls there! (use the hyperlinks above for more information)

So what now?

As parents, we often place ourselves at the very bottom of the priority list. While caring for our children is important, caring for ourselves matters too. Whether that’s booking a professional massage, asking your partner for a five-minute shoulder rub, or simply rolling a tennis ball under your feet at the end of a long day, small acts of self-care can have a big impact.

Massage doesn’t have to be an expensive luxury. Sometimes, it’s simply an essential reminder that your wellbeing matters too. Even small moments dedicated to rest and recovery can leave you feeling calmer, more energised, and better equipped for the demands of family life.

References
Field, T. (2016). Massage therapy research review. Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice, 24, 19–31.
National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH). Massage Therapy: What You Need To Know.
American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA). Benefits of Massage Therapy.
Mayo Clinic. Stress management and relaxation techniques.
NHS. Exercise, relaxation and wellbeing guidance.